I cannot figure out how to put my sons to bed as the day goes on. It just gets harder and harder, culminating in a really terrible evening. My husband comes home to a tired and irritable me, trying to console and put down two cranky babies.
Seeing that I am on edge, he tries to comfort and help me by insisting that we just, "let them cry it out." I aquiesce, wanting to trust him and his judgement -- they are, after all, his children too... but my heart is quietly screaming, "no no no no!"
The crying escalates into something inhuman. I cannot hold back anymore. Tears are welling in my eyes. I snap at him, "this is not working for me. I have to pick him up!"
Crying begins to wane. But the damage is done. To my emotional psyche. Babe continues to whimper and is ultra sensitive to anyone but me, including daddy. I hold and kiss my baby until he drifts drifts drifts to slumber. Why can't he fall asleep without crying or being cuddled?
And this is only ONE babe.
I cannot even discuss the other right now.
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