Friday, August 26, 2011

Busted, Beat-down, Bam!

First true sickness was Wednesday.  Like, I mean, where I was down for the count, only getting up to nurse.  If I could've, I would have stayed in bed all day and just lay there.  I had the chills, the sweats, dizzy spells, and my legs had absolutely no strength in them.  My head just ached.

And I couldn't enjoy the boyz.  So husband did.  By some sort of miracle, we had planned for him to take the day off on Wednesday so we could spend time together as a family but I ruined it all by getting ill.  It was obviously a blessing in disguise because without him, I am not too sure what our fam/jam would have done.

I was out of it!  Completely out.

Two days later and I'm feeling alive again.  No headache but still hurts to swallow and legs are still a bit weak, with hints of dizziness now and again. 

Husband and mother think it's cuz I'm not eating right but I happen to think I'm all right.  Mother also believes I've lost too much weight but in all honesty, I haven't.  I have a BMI of 23.99, which is in the high range of normal (highest being 24.9!) and I was tres overweight when I got pregnant.  Truthfully, I am down about 25lbs from pre-pregnancy weight, which is good because THAT'S how overweight I was.  This should be normal for me, and on the higher end of normal.  Very nervous as to what's going to happen when I stop nursing and start exercising.  I'm scared that all the weight is going to climb back on. 

But I digress.

An update about the boyz:

1.  Sleep is a funny thing.  LBM doesn't enjoy alone time at night.  It's been a challenge.  LM does not like to fall asleep but is okay for the rest of the night.

2.  Solids are good for LM but not-so-much for LBM.  He likes to throw his head back in defiance -- if I don't understand the first time he whiplashes himself, he makes sure I do by repeatedly whiplashing himself until I focus on his brother.  Nice.

3.  Naps are ridonculous! They're so different between the two boys.  LM loves to nap, LBM could care less.  Hal-muh-nee and Dad can rock LBM to sleep like no other. They are great.  Me however, I'm useless.  Utterly.  He won't settle with me.  I don't get it.  Could it be the breast shells that I am still using?  It's kinda hard to snuggle and cuddle against your mother's breast when they're as hard as nails... wha?????

4.  I'm obsessed with sleep.

The end.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Sleep Troubles


It has been an interesting regression of sorts.

After all of the teething crises and sleep interruptions, LM seemed to go back to his normal napping routine (albeit, it's transitioning to 2 longer naps now), LBM has completely regressed.  Unless he's being held or rocked in a car, there is no sleeping happening for the poor boy during the day.  Night time is especially challenging for both boys.  I absolutely am at a loss as to what to do. 

We need help.

I'm desperate.

Right now, LBM is so exhausted, he fell asleep on the floor in the living room.  I was lying beside him to make sure he knew I was there.  That's why I get to type.

He is crawling backwards like crazy so I'm afraid to leave him and I can't transfer him because he wakes up and the goes batshit crazy.  I can't take a shower.

He sleeps in our bed with husband and I have been relegated to the floor for now.  LM cries like crazy in his room, where he has been sleeping all day.  But when he is in a room with a little bit of light, he calms down and can slowly fall asleep. 

So much for putting them to bed by 7 and having the night free.  No more of that.

I called a sleep psychologist.  I can't take it anymore.

I can't even think of anywhere to go or to take them.  I just don't want to and I don't have the energy.  I feel like a horrible person and especially a horrible mother.  I want to go out, but when I think of all of the shit I have to do to get everything ready and prepared and done and carry and put in the car, I just think, forget it.  I'd much rather do it if I have someone with me.  Am I being a baby?  Am I spoiled?  Why can other multiple mothers seem to do it and I can't?  I feel like a shut-in.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

First Foods Recap

Buttercup squash - is now a hit!  I also made butternut squash and put in some cinnamon and nutmeg and they still love it!  I think LBM loves squash more than pear!

Pear - took some getting used to but LM LOVES it!  He screams for more... I love when he does it!  LBM will eat it but he'll much prefer the squash.

I don't know what to try next - I might give try sweet potato - but I did try it and it wasn't too sweet so I hope they like it!

My other problem is that I don't know how much to give them.  Lately, I've just started feeding them and then when they turn away, I stop.  That's my best guess!

LM has teeth too!

On Sunday, I noticed a pair of teeth starting to cut through LM's gums.  Starting on Friday, his whole sleep schedule went out of whack and both LM and LBM went bonkers.  Nothing could console them, they started to go to sleep at 830 after being nursed instead of 630-7 as had been the case before.  They woke every 3 hours, probably crying because of pain but I didn't know and just nursed them.  I am suspecting that LBM's uppers are starting to come, which is why he's so fussy as well. 

Yesterday was difficult - LBM did not sleep all morning, which is very unusual and he was exhausted.  He fell asleep looking at me (that's how tired he was - he NEVER falls asleep if a person is there!) and slept for only half an hour, waking up with a scream.  He slept only after he nursed after that yesterday, poor baby.  Those sleeps were at most 30 mins.  Definitely not enough sleep for him yesterday.  It worries me -- I just read that sleep is the primary brain activity for infants - what the what?  That means my poor LBM isn't getting as much as LM -- NOOOOOo!!!!

They are about 3 weeks apart in terms of teeth showing up.  Which means that compared to everyone else, we are getting a double dose of teething crying and sleeplessness.

I definitely was much crankier these last few days than normal.  Plus, we're going through a lot of upheaval right now and it's creating more stress than necessary.

Nevertheless, LM and LBM are going through a rough patch right now and it's all I can do to keep my spirits up and keep up!  They're so cute though.

Oh!  And LBM is sitting up on his own now --- I have to set him up first and then he can stay up!  His body is strong.
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Best. Gifts. Ever by S. You is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.