Friday, December 9, 2011

12 month shots - TRAUMA.

So, having two birthday parties within one week (Sunday and Saturday) was fun, busy, exciting, and exhausting.  A little bit stressful but it was fantastic too.  I think we did a great job of making the festivities light and fun and it was great for my friends and family to see part of the tradition that is "dol". 

For the main doljabi event, at the first party, LBM went straight for the golf ball (athlete!) and LM went for the money! It was very fun and the boyz were great!  When we sang happy birthday and gave them the cake, LM dove straight in for the cake and destroyed it!  It was hysterical!  LBM wouldn't even TOUCH his cake - he was disgusted by it... that is, until LM's antics resulted in a piece of chocolate cake being tossed onto LBM's hanbok.  He proceeded to pick up the piece and put it in his mouth... and then inch his way over to LM... "I want cake!!!"  Too funny.

At the second, LBM went for the golf ball AGAIN!  So excited about that!  LM went straight for the pencil!  He'll be a wealthy scholar, I just know it!  Again, really cute and very entertaining.  I will try to post pics of them in their garb.

So, they celebrated their official birthday 3 days ago.  I honestly felt like it should have been my birthday.  I felt like man, I was the one who pushed these two out of me, whose body pushed two beings out, who was so connected to them for 34w6d.... ah well, it's their birthday I guess.  But a celebratory day for me.  It was my first day as a mother.

Today however, was not my proudest day as a mom...

I don't even want to write about it because I don't want to re-enact the scene in my mind/head/body again.  It was awful. 

Basically, LM fell off the examining table and hit his head (forehead) and nose on the ground.  He has a big lump on the right side of his forehead but the bruising kind of spreads across and he had a bleeding nose.  Under his nose there seems to be a bruise forming. 

He is fine right now, but he will be sleeping with us tonight and tomorrow and I will be waking him up twice in the middle of the night to make sure he's okay.  Any sign of distress and we go straight to emerg.

He was immediately picked up and transitioned very quickly from crying to smiling and laughing with me and the doctor.  It was hard for me to smile but a relief to see him react that way. 

But still.  I have never felt so awful.  My mom and I couldn't even talk about it and I kept having flashbacks to the scene in my head, which would immediately make me want to cry and puke at the same time.  Writing this is making me feel all sweaty and terrible again.  Maybe someday I'll be able to talk about it a little more but right now, no way.

I didn't cry.  I wanted to but I was frozen and I couldn't move.  I was sweating like crazy and then later, when I knew he was okay, I was shaking all over. I can't write anymore, my eyes are getting teary.

What an awful way to end a post...

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Best. Gifts. Ever by S. You is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.