12 month shots - TRAUMA.

So, having two birthday parties within one week (Sunday and Saturday) was fun, busy, exciting, and exhausting.  A little bit stressful but it was fantastic too.  I think we did a great job of making the festivities light and fun and it was great for my friends and family to see part of the tradition that is "dol". 

For the main doljabi event, at the first party, LBM went straight for the golf ball (athlete!) and LM went for the money! It was very fun and the boyz were great!  When we sang happy birthday and gave them the cake, LM dove straight in for the cake and destroyed it!  It was hysterical!  LBM wouldn't even TOUCH his cake - he was disgusted by it... that is, until LM's antics resulted in a piece of chocolate cake being tossed onto LBM's hanbok.  He proceeded to pick up the piece and put it in his mouth... and then inch his way over to LM... "I want cake!!!"  Too funny.

At the second, LBM went for the golf ball AGAIN!  So excited about that!  LM went straight for the pencil!  He'll be a wealthy scholar, I just know it!  Again, really cute and very entertaining.  I will try to post pics of them in their garb.

So, they celebrated their official birthday 3 days ago.  I honestly felt like it should have been my birthday.  I felt like man, I was the one who pushed these two out of me, whose body pushed two beings out, who was so connected to them for 34w6d.... ah well, it's their birthday I guess.  But a celebratory day for me.  It was my first day as a mother.

Today however, was not my proudest day as a mom...

I don't even want to write about it because I don't want to re-enact the scene in my mind/head/body again.  It was awful. 

Basically, LM fell off the examining table and hit his head (forehead) and nose on the ground.  He has a big lump on the right side of his forehead but the bruising kind of spreads across and he had a bleeding nose.  Under his nose there seems to be a bruise forming. 

He is fine right now, but he will be sleeping with us tonight and tomorrow and I will be waking him up twice in the middle of the night to make sure he's okay.  Any sign of distress and we go straight to emerg.

He was immediately picked up and transitioned very quickly from crying to smiling and laughing with me and the doctor.  It was hard for me to smile but a relief to see him react that way. 

But still.  I have never felt so awful.  My mom and I couldn't even talk about it and I kept having flashbacks to the scene in my head, which would immediately make me want to cry and puke at the same time.  Writing this is making me feel all sweaty and terrible again.  Maybe someday I'll be able to talk about it a little more but right now, no way.

I didn't cry.  I wanted to but I was frozen and I couldn't move.  I was sweating like crazy and then later, when I knew he was okay, I was shaking all over. I can't write anymore, my eyes are getting teary.

What an awful way to end a post...

Dol Janchi

In a matter of weeks, the boyz will be turning ONE!

Because it's the holiday season, we have had to book their party about 10 days in advance.  Oh well!  AND we are having TWO parties for them!  One for the family and the other for friends.  One at a restaurant, the other at home.

I have ordered the boyz Korean traditional outfits (hanbok) and they are gorgeous.  At least I think they are!  LBM tried it on and I must say, I was pretty proud...  he looked so... official!

I am in the process of figuring out how I will decorate (I've actually figured that out - I have printed out pictures depicting each month of their lives in the past year.  One string for LM, another for LBM, and still another with pics of the both of them.  I found the idea somewhere online, I think on Pinterest.  I think it's a brilliant thing... I should take a picture of it, it's so amazing.  I was able to play with husband's new computer and play with some of the pictures I've printed, which I'll post - it was fun!

So, at the first party, we will be having at a Korean restaurant, buffet style.  The boyz will wear their hanboks and they will do a 'dol-jabi,' which will be to predict their futures.  There will be an array of items on a mat or tray and the boyz will be let loose, given the freedom to choose their destinies!  Each object/item has a meaning attached to it; for example, thread means long life, pencil means scholar, money means wealth, etc, etc.  I haven't collected the objects yet, but I will have to have doubles of each!

I plan to do the same thing for our friends on the following Saturday when we have our second party.  This will be a nice way to introduce some of our culture to our friends.  I also plan on having dduk for our guests, which is a Korean rice cake, that is eaten as a dessert.  It's also one of my favourite foods.  On the menu for lunch?  Oh, just Portuguese food.... hahahaha!!!  I've heard that Portuguese pulled pork sandwiches are to die for!

The main thing stressing me out though, is the loot bags.  What the hell do I buy for loot bags?  I don't even want to do them but I know I have to... the kids range in age from 8 months to like, 10 years old!  AHHHHHH!!!

I also started running again -- finally! And I have been enjoying it.  I committed to running in a 3man relay (10k each) in March.  I was able to run 5k last Sunday but have not had a chance to run at all this week yet.  And I'm not sure if I'll be able to run on Sunday -- we just have too many things to get done before the birthday parties.  We're really crazy overwhelmed.  Anyway, I think after not running for over 18 months and getting back into it is a slow process but I'm excited and motivated (somewhat!).

I feel like maybe I should join a running club so that I can get my a$$ out the door, especially when it's freezing out -- it's just gonna get colder!!!

Boyz in their usual spots at the window.  Yes, they are wearing the same outfit.  They are fraternal and I feel like I was cheated! They were supposed to be identical and I was adamant that I would never dress them alike... but since they're not... well, I can do whatever I want.  I'm mama!

Hallowe'en!

From our photo shoot a month after they were born, and a week after leaving the hospital.

Me and one of the babies.