Today

Today will be a great day.  I will play with my boys and smile and laugh and read and talk to them all day, without guessing or trying to guess whether they are tired and ready for a nap or not.  I will enjoy them instead of constantly wondering if they are getting enough sleep. 

I am sleep obsessed.  What is happening?!?!?!? 

Yesterday, after countless nights of screaming and crying, and rocking, we let them cry it out again.  I basically wanted to seriously maim someone, my heart was ripping apart.  My boys were sobbing.  LM was crying and it was that lilting, plaintive cry (not the scream) that was killing me.  He was so upset, wondering why no one was coming to soothe him.

LBM fell asleep after screaming but continued to have that post-cry breathing thing that made me feel like a horrible person.  He has to sleep in our bed because he keeps rolling and getting stuck on his tummy.  I don't know what to do about that...  I feel like it's safer in my bed.  He doesn't try to roll there.  I think because there isn't quite as much room.

I'm going to go for a little walk this morning, to break from the routine.  We'll see what happens!